Growing Up

I'm sure I have another post relating to this topic because this seems to pop up in my head a lot lately. But anyways, let's start. Yeah. Growing up, damn. You know when you were a little kid and people would ask you, "What do you wanna be when you're all grown up?" My question back is, when is it exactly a person is considered all grown up? If it's considered the legal age of 18, well ho-ho-hold your horses. I would like to bluntly disagree that I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. I honestly haven't really felt like I've aged since my 13th birthday, and that was five freaking years ago. Five! 365.25 days times 5. A pretty long time. I'm guessing this feeling is normal. Teenage angst, I suppose is what they call it. I hope someday it'll hit me. 'It' being what I really wanna be when I grow up, because even as a kid I never had an answer and all the decisions I've been making my whole life has been with my gut. So gut, I hope you're trustworthy.

The past few years my gut has gotten me to make some pretty big decisions. It told me to move to the Philippines all by my lonesome. To become a pharmacist. And it's most recent thing it's told me? To proceed on and become a Doctor. That's some pretty big stuff gut, not sure if I can handle it. But if my gut says so.....

Aah, who really knows. I hope I'm not the only one in this boat of confusion and unsureness though. I guess I should be expecting more re-occurrences of these emotions.  Hmph.

Meet My Friends

I don't post a lot. That's a fact. I rarely know what I really want to say, and if I do know what to say usually my opinions suffice under 120 characters so I just tweet (@93alyssamarie). Follow me on Twitter eh? ;}

^Shamelessly advertising.

Anyways, this post is gonna be dedicated to my friends, which literally put together spells CRRAP. Yes. It fits us rather well. So from now on, if I am to post more and I'm talking about me and my friends, this post should be a reference to all you readers.

Welp, there we are! Not fully complete though, the other R was taking the picture. But from left to right, I'll briefly describe us. First, we have P for Panjee, she is what I like to call the sophisticated intellect. Notice the proper posture as well. Very studious and determined. A total role model for the CAR following her. Get it? ;}

Next to Panjee, there I am! The A, the very essential letter to CRAP because I am the vowel. Without me they're only CPR, suffocating. Heehee. It's probably not fair that I'm describing myself but who cares. I am the aspiring musician/rockstar/the best person you will ever meet. And no, I didn't quote that from Mean Girls, I actually am the best person you will ever meet so heh.

After me, we have Connie! She has her own blog, and if you noticed I attached the link to her name so check her out! She posts a lot more often than me so she'll surprise you with new stuff on the daily, er weekly, er just a lot more than me for sure. For. Sure. Obviously she's the C in the acronym, and you can see by the looks of it that she's the happy, smiling, and always brightly colored unicorn. Though, I think she was saving her unicorn powers in this picture.. nonetheless she's the only one not wearing black. Therefore, positive energy:} Without her C, we'd only be RAP and no we are not from the hood. But we try to be...

And then, the farthest on the right is Raye. The R. The one that makes CRAP interesting because otherwise we'd just be CAP, and where's the fun in that? She keeps things amusing with her quirky, awkward, and misunderstood personality. And also her not so balanced stance. But now, let us not forget...

Raynard! The other R! The other one that keeps things exciting with his new food discoveries and simple yet funny yet curious personality. But as you can see in the picture he's saying, "Oh, stop it." Not very good at taking compliments :P And then there's also my arm.. hey arm.

So that's us! CRRAP, supah fresh, smelly, but totally necessary. If you mess with us, we literally will not take your crap so take it as a warning. A polite warning though:}

NewVibe/Cornetto/Manila/MeanGirls

I think it's pretty clear that I suck at keeping up with things. I posted in January promising new posts and what not, but now it's already March and this is only my 2nd post of the year. I'm not gonna do the usual and talk about time and how fast it goes, blahblahblah and be philosophical. You can go somewhere else for that, I'm sure. I'm actually gonna type out what's going through my mind. May it be pure complaints or something poetic. I mean it's the internet, who cares.

So now that's established. What's going through my mind now, you ask? Well dear internet, that seems to be the only good listener nowadays, I am thinking about ice cream. Yep, ice cream. The new white chocolate cornetto to be specific. Filipino readers will only know what that means. If you're reading this and you don't know, just research. Google is great. Anyways, yes. Ice cream. Also taco bell. I found out through twitter a couple hours ago that there's taco bell in Manila. Question, why is all the good stuff at Manila? And by the good stuff I mean all the American franchises that decided to come over to the fantastic Philippines and overprice their goods to the white papaya soap users because they're the only people here that can afford it, which is like what 12% of the population? Smh. I mean, excuse the too much information I'm giving (don't stalk me), I live in Davao. And Davao is just as cute as Manila. Davao is just as smart as Manila. People totally like Davao just as much as they like Manila. And since when did it become okay for just one city to have all the good stuff? Because that's not what the Philippines is about. I hope you got what I did there. I quoted Mean Girls. Except I did some word exchange. If you don't know what Mean Girls is, gtfo or go watch it and then come back. But I'm totally kidding (to those that do get it), I'm not that bitter towards Manila having everything...

2012

It's been months since I've posted last and we're almost 2/3rds into the month of January and almost 1/12th through the new year. Time never fails to go by so quickly. Anyways, this will just be a quick post. Letting you readers know, if there are any, that I'll try to post more starting today. But no promises. According to Paulo Coelho, "If you start out by promising what you don't even have yet, you'll lose your desire to work toward getting it." I'll try not to let you down!

Simplicity

It's funny to see people grow happy with smiles and giddiness when they see someone they find attractive, much like a celebrity, but more personal because it's just a regular person. I don't think those people themselves realize that they make other people happy in the most simplest of ways. Just by existing. It's one of the good things in life. some may find it childish, but the child in all of is us where our true happiness is. Like I keep saying. I'm in the phase of realizing that I'm growing up, and it sucks to think about it, but it's something everyone goes through. I know I'm not alone. I just want to keep the child in me alive. I'm trying to look at things simply, get giddy, and happy like others do when they see the person they like, but sometimes its hard. Judgement stops that for us. Judgement from other people, on how we're looked at in society, and also even more our own self judgement. There's a kind of person that we all want to be. Either a combination of several people we've encountered in our life, or just a single person, we want to grow up and be a certain way. A way we think we will be happy and a way that society will also accept us. Sometimes, I think that's the only concern of a person. To be happy with ourselves, and also be accepted in society. All the little goals we have for ourselves, if you think about it builds up to that. When we reach those goals, what was accomplished? What's the big picture? It's exactly that. How funny. I always say it's the simple things in life that make us happy, but really that's everything. Life is simple. We just grow up to look at things more complicated.

Reading List

Lately I've been reading. Weird, for me. I've never been a reader before, never read unless I was required to for school. But now that I've started reading for pure enjoyment, I find it very sad that I didn't discover the joy of reading earlier. I've read two books in the past week and that's honestly more than I've read in the past 7 years of my life. I'm missing out, that's for sure. Anyways, here's a list of books I want to and plan to read in the near future. This is only the start. In no particular order.

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens (Started reading today!)

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky (One of the books I finished this week that I plan on reading again, and again)

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

Adverbs by Daniel Handler

God Says No by James Hannaham

Crank series by Ellen Hopkins (Finished Crank tonight)

Stash by David Klein (The title of this book really caught me :-))

Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

The Bible (Read but not analyzed)

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Even by Andrew Grant

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity by Kerry Cohen

A Change of Plans

Today, Saturday, I was suppose to be having a Harry Potter marathon with some classmates. We were going to watch all the movies and end the marathon by going to the movie theater and watching the last Harry Potter movie as a subtle goodbye to our childhood. But, like the title of this blog intends, a sudden change of plans occurred. Long story short, school related things like projects and homework got in the way of everyone else except me. I ended up spending my Saturday afternoon/ night with Raye and we were suppose to watch a movie too, but that didn't happen and it kinda fell into taking pictures with her amazing DSLR camera. Don't believe me? Take a look at some of the pictures we took that I combined to make a collage using Collage Creator for my Mac!

Very indie, eh? I'm loving it! Sporting my oxfords proudly, as you can see. ;-) And everyone, say hello to Raye!